My Journey With Weight Loss – Finding My Courage

I have a number of strength exercises that I do each day. I start with some weights for my upper body then do some squats followed by floor work on my yoga mat. Now my young corgi loves it when I get down on that mat because she thinks that means it is time to give me lots of kisses. I have taken to locking her in a bedroom when I am on the floor so that I can get my routine done. However, yesterday she decided that when I do my squats it must be play time. So, as I go down into a squat she jumps on me. As I straighten up she jumps off me. To her this is a great game and I noticed today when the same thing was happening that she looked like she was smiling. I’ve decided I’m just going to let her keep doing this if it makes her happy.

Several years ago my brother had one of his big toes amputated. At the time I was devastated for him so I just couldn’t look at his foot because seeing that spot where the toe used to be upset me so much. I always made him keep that foot covered when he was around me. Well, now it is looking at the stump where his lower leg used to be. When I saw him the day after the amputation I geared myself up to be strong because if he could handle this so could I. But I admit, that first time seeing his stump just about brought me to my knees. I swore to myself I would never let him see me upset about this and I force myself to look at the stump every time I see him and ask questions about it. I have also done a ton of research into what happens next next in terms of making it fit into his prosthetic.

Monday we had a meet and greet with my brother’s prosthetist and now it was time to learn all about that stump. The prosthetist showed me how the stump was a perfect shape and what they will be doing to manipulate it to fit well in a prosthetic. Trust me this was very detailed information. She asked my brother how much he weighed before the amputation and when he answered she advised he now weighed 5 lbs less because that is the weight of a lower limb. The more she talked the more comfortable my brother and I got and so we started asking questions. One response that floored me is that the cost of the prosthetic (covered under our provincial health plan) is $10,000. I was stunned and the prosthetist explained that the foot component alone cost $5,000.

When I left after that meeting I realized that even when I had first walked into the hospital room seeing the stump didn’t bother me. Yes, it is sad to see but it didn’t freak me out. I thought about it on my long drive home from the hospital and I know a big part of the reason is the fact that I am mentally so much stronger now. Sure, I had to dig down deep those first few visits with my brother but when I was out running I could strengthen my resolve that I had to be ok with my brother’s new look. I don’t think even a year ago I could have gotten to this place of acceptance so quickly but I am here now.

Remember, mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness.