My Journey With Health And Fitness – When Not To Apologize

Well, 1 week today and we will be returning home. I can’t believe how quickly the past 4 weeks have flown by. Now the goal is to enjoy ourselves as much as possible during the next 7 days as we can. And, tomorrow is our 29th anniversary which we will be spending with some good friends.

When I was working I used to facilitate a course on stress in the workplace. It was always presented to labour activists who should be the most understanding but I often realized the stigma around mental health issues was alive and well even amongst this group. While the course talked about the physical impact of stress, it also focused on the mental impact as well. One thing I always emphasized was that there is no such thing as ‘stress leave’ rather it was sick leave due to stress related illness. Changing the thoughts around how ‘stress leave’ should be considered made a difference because it made people think of it in a completely different way.

I was surprised the other day when one of my friends told my husband and I about her mental health issues. I didn’t (and still don’t) define her in that light rather I define her by the fact that she is a kind person. What bothered me was when she apologized for having mental health issues. That is when both my husband and told her to stop doing that, she had nothing to apologize for. We don’t look at mental health issues any differently than we do any other disability. Hell, it would be like my brother apologizing for being an amputee or my sister apologizing for being blind. You just should not have to feel the need to apologize for any disability or illness and it is time that everyone starts to get that.

You know when I was still working I would get angry at people who scoffed at coworkers who took sick leave due to stress related illness. Where I worked to take more than a few days of sick leave you had to have verification from a doctor. It was almost like these people were saying somehow doctors were providing false information because you know for some reason they were in cahoots with their patient to scam the employer. I myself took that type of leave when my Mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The doctor to one look at me sitting there sobbing and not being about to speak and immediately provided the information my employer needed. And quite frankly, I was never embarrassed at having to take that leave nor should I have been.

And so, if you have mental health issues you have absolutely no reason to apologize to me or anyone else because of your condition. May it not define you, may it just be like any other disability or illness that yes, you have to deal with but that no one has the right to judge. Moreover, I hope anyone reading this who was part of placing stigma on people with mental health issues may this particular blog make you see things in a different light.