We went to a Celebration of Life today (more on that below). The reception was held only about 4 blocks away from us. My husband and I had opted to drop my sister off there and leave our car at home and walk to the reception. Of course, that meant we all had to walk home. I am so impressed my sister managed to walk that 4 blocks unaided! She needs to get up to 8 blocks before our cruise which is 10 weeks from now but given how well she has done in her recovery I am confident she will get there.
Today we went to the Celebration of Life for our good friend’s step son. Our friend had been in his life for 31 years, since his step son was 3. We were there because we did know the step son and it was important that we supported our friend. It was the right thing to do and none of us had any qualms about doing so.
We heard today from numerous friends and family. What we learned was this young man was so giving to everyone whether that be his family, friends or the community. It didn’t matter to him about his own issues, he just needed to help everyone. We watched as family and friends cried remembering how much he impacted their lives. The services itself was lovely and my heart broke when 3 of his siblings and his Dad spoke. His Dad in particular struggled at the loss of his son and I just wanted to leap on the stage an hug him.
Loss is sad but this one to my is even more so. He had struggle for many years with mental health issues which lead to substance abuse issues. Sadly he died from an overdose. He leaves behind not just his parents, siblings, friends but also his young daughter. I had met him many times and was well aware of his struggles but never thought there would be such a tragic ending. Still today those issues were brushed aside to remember an amazing young man.
This once again brought home how our system is failing those that need us the most. Maybe it would have helped if there was support there available for him. Maybe if there was a safe place for him to go for consumption he would not have od’d. Maybe if we found a way to help treat addiction with dignity his daughter would still have her father.
When we heard this young man had passed my husband and I were devastated for our friend and his family. It was even more so today when we realized he died on our anniversary. I plan each year as my husband and I celebrate our anniversary that we will remember this young man.
I really want all levels of government to come up with a way to support both mental health and substance abuse. No young child should ever have to lose a parent because of this again. Please let’s find a way to make this stop.
This morning was a glorious morning to walk the beach. It was beautiful and sunny when I started out though I admit a bit cold in she shade. The water was lovely and calm and I so enjoyed saying good morning to many people. As I walked along the promenade I looked up and saw a bald eagle perched on top of a tree. Then when I got to the end of the pier there were 2 more perched on top of a cellular antenna. Really, what an awesome way to start the day.
I mentioned in my last post that everyone seemed to need to meet with me and were piling on the work. I am literally getting so stressed out over my to do list. It is bad enough that I have work outstanding for clients but all of my volunteer organizations have piled it on. I have done volunteer stuff every day this week and still have things outstanding. On top of that I have things I need to get done for the family. I swear right now I need to have 30 hour days to get it all done. On top of all of this we have a neighbourhood get together tomorrow and we are supplying and cooking the food.
So how to get out of the stress? Well for me I am finding ways to decompress. For example, a lot of walking is happening right now. Just heading out for even an hour really seems to help. I am also taking some breaks to get everything ready for the upcoming cruise my sister and I are taking. Again, this is a distraction for a little bit just so I am not obsessing on what I have to do (I’m really good at obsessing in the middle of the night). I also have been trying to get through a task for one organization then do a task for another organization.
I realized at the end of the day today that I had knocked 3 pretty big items off the to do list in the last 4 days. Oh, there are still some big ones left but at least I am making progress. I think if I can get rid of at least one more by the end of the weekend I can consider it real progress.
So if you are stressed, find a way to decompress to help you manage it. If you are like me and have more things to do than you have time for, just keep moving forward with the work and it will get done. Of course, also keep yourself moving, a walk outside may be the best remedy.
Well, arrived back home late Saturday after my longest trip ever away from home. 2 1/2 months is a really long time to be away though I don’t regret doing it. The challenge I have now is that everything I wasn’t working on while away needs to be dealt with. Many people waited until I came home to start piling stuff on me and now that pile has gotten huge. I’ll just simply work on it each day until I get through it.
I was pretty good at the condo in terms of trying to work out every day. I admit the last week I was a little slack by not doing my online classes but I made sure to walk at least an hour every day. The problem with that is it really isn’t enough for me. I need to keep moving and that means a hell of a lot more than just an hour a day. In my defense, when we left it had gotten really hot so even walking at 5:30am it was 28 degrees and super humid. That always tends to discourage me because when it is that hot you are just constantly sticky and wet with sweat. It is not a pleasant feeling.
I also realized that at the condo I do not really have a way to challenge myself as much. Sure, this time I found that local gym and would go there a few days a week to work with heavier weights (the ones at the condo are only 10lbs) but I don’t believe that is a sustainable solution while there because of the costs. I’m just going to have to work on finding a way to keep myself up to my normal level while I am there because if not when I come home I have to fight to get myself back to my normal fitness level.
Despite the late night Saturday I was determined to get even a short walk done. I opted to walk up to the local Farmers Market to meet my husband and sister and hopefully pick up some local fruit (which I did). This is when I really noticed the difference. You see, you are not getting to the City centre from our house without going up an incline. I got part way there and thought ok, my legs are just not used to that now because all the roads around the condo are really flat. Still I kept going because I have a limited amount of time before my next trip to build up again. I got through it though.
Yesterday I was back at my gym and determined to push myself. I think I did fairly well. Then it was walking time. I decided the best was to do it in segments, 2 one hour segments with a rest break then a 1/2 hour walk. It was the most I had done in 2 months (remember that whole foot issue that made me have to cut back). Since I got through that ok, today I again did a class 1st thing but it was 3 one hour walks. Tomorrow I have to cut back a bit because of my schedule but it is probably a good thing to allow for a little recovery. My goal will then be to push myself Thursday and Friday.
I can’t deny it, I do like walking when the weather cooperates. There’s just something about hitting the pavement, listening to a good book that seems to clear my head a bit. I guess after 5 years of being in motion I finally have to acknowledge it’s a good thing.
I have a very fixed routine that I follow every day. I start with checking my Facebook memories to usually see where I was traveling because I did a lot of that when I worked. Today I saw the first post on my memories and immediately closed Facebook. Today is the day I have dreaded this entire trip. It was one year ago today that my little brother died in my arms. He was my best friend and losing him shook me to the core. I still, a year later, struggle with him not being with us. So much of my life had been about protecting him and taking care of him. Trust me I still get angry when people tell me he is in a better place because of all his health issues because to me the ‘better place’ would be still being with us.
We had long planned on doing something for my brother today. And so we have arranged for a group of our friends to do what we did a few days after we lost my brother, gather pool side and celebrate him. While we had planned on having Chinese food for dinner in his honour we learned that the place we order from in Playa is closed for staff vacation. Instead we have arranged for my brother’s favourite restaurant to deliver some pizza, also something he loved. Not to worry, good friends are going out with my sister and they will be having Chinese food.
I decided I have to choose between 2 paths today, being sad or being happy. I have opted to be happy and celebrate an incredibly kind human being. I am going to stick to happy memories and while out walking thought of some great ones that I plan to share at the pool party this afternoon. Like his 40th birthday where I surprised him with a trip to Reno but his friends had taken him out the night before and he was so hung over he didn’t even remember the flight getting there. Or our last trip to Reno which he had treated me with after settling Mom’s estate and how we had just an awesome time. How knowing how much seeing his stump disturbed me (only because it seeing it made me devasted at the fact he lost his leg) so when I walked into a room he would hold up his leg and waggle the stump at me. I’ll remember how hard he worked to recover from the amputation because he just wanted to come home. I will always think of the fact that if you were his friend he would lay his life down for you. And, I know everyone whose life he touched will remember him as a genuinely kind person despite what he went through in life.
Yes, there will be tears today, as a matter of fact there are some as I write this, but that is ok. What I hope for is that there will be more laughs as we toast him and think of happy memories. Just as we did when we celebrated him a year ago the Canadian Club will be flowing as will the tequila. But at the end of the day I hope he is looking down at us with his twisted grin toasting along with us.
Miss you lil’ bro’ but thanks for making my life better for having been your big sis’.
Yes, we are still finding concrete dust in the condo. We’ve been working on a list of little jobs we want to get done before we leave like cleaning all the power outlet/light switch covers, cleaning the decks and repainting the outdoor bistro set. Today it was the tops of the cupboards in the kitchen and trust me they have lots of concrete dust. However, we have cleaned them and will keep looking for more to clean up.
I got up at the usual time this morning planning to do my daily 5:30am walk and realized a big storm was making its way through. It was pouring rain and the wind was really blowing. Now, having made the mistake before of thinking I should go for a walk and the storm would pass (remember the September incident when by time I realized it wasn’t a squall and I had to walk back to the condo in water halfway up my calves?) so maybe it would be better if I just had another bottle of water. I also realized with the weather the way it was my kitties were likely not to be around looking for food. Then I thought you know what, we’re planning on having some fun later today, why not give myself a break.
I’ve been pretty good while I have been down here including yesterday doing 1.5 hours of walking, a 1 hour bootcamp class and 1/2 hour working out at the gym. It is time to give myself a bit of a break and so I canceled my online class and other than cleaning the cabinets (which is already done) I figure I am giving myself a me day. Later my husband and I will head downtown to walk the length of 5th Avenue then head out for dinner. On the way home it will be a quick stop at a grocery market for some much necessary supplies and a nice relaxing evening. Just a fun day with some mental recharging.
Not to worry, I’m back at it again tomorrow with similar time working out that I did yesterday. Not bad given that I have been here nearly 8 weeks and haven’t missed a single weekday of exercising. But you know what? I’m quite content with doing a fun day.
It is once again a super hot day here in Playa. My weather app is predicting some rain this afternoon but quite frankly it tends to say that every day. We would welcome some rain here as it is quite dry. Having said that, if the forecast is wrong and I get to hang out in our pool this afternoon I am ok with that too.
I am an avid reader, I always have been. For a long time most of my reading consisted of labour case law fitting in e-books when I traveled. I should note, even the case law, unlike many I knew. I would read the whole case instead of just skipping to the decision. I ended up hooked on e-books because when I traveled I would often go through several books and didn’t want the weight (or necessary room) with taking hardcopies with me. Once I retired books became fair game once again. We actually have a library set up down here at the condo and I have dozens of books that I have read here while floating on the pool.
But I have also become a bit of an addict to audio books. Many years ago I had set up an account to download books but that was really for my Mom since she had lost most of her vision so could no longer read. Then of course my sister lost her sight so I kept the account once Mom had passed so that my sister could listen to books. Then, when I started doing hours of walking in 2020 I started listening to books. Let me be clear, if I find a really good book it makes the amount of time walking just fly by. When I was running I would often force myself to focus on the book to distract me from how much I hate running. I also have this bizarre rule that once I start a book I have to finish it whether I am enjoying or not.
I’ve been fortunate to find some authors lately that have written series of books. One of my most recent finds is Diane Saxon who is a British writer. I love her mystery novels and am on my 4th one since I came to Playa. Another is David Rosenfelt who has a great character who is a lawyer but also a dog lover so you know that keeps me interested. Once I find a good author I try to listen to all of their books and right now I have plenty in my library just waiting for me.
The power of books is amazing. To me it brings me peace and joy when I find a book that can totally engage me while I am out walking. I know it is a really good one when I can walk for over an hour and be surprised that my walk is over.
I hope everyone out there has something that makes them as happy as reading books does for me. Starting a new hardcopy one on the pool today and I can’t wait.
So the alarm goes off at 4:30am this morning and I think, screw this (may have been due to the wine and tequila celebrating our anniversary yesterday). I reset it for 5am and when it went off a 2nd time I was more than willing to go back to sleep. Then of course I thought about all my kitties waiting for their breakfast and hauled myself out of bed. Once back from my walk I tried to set up for my 7:30am online workout but technology was definitely against me. Instead I cleaned all of the windows in our condo and given the heat toady I am pretty sure I got a better workout than I would have done in the online fitness class.
I have tried through this blog and posts on social media to help motivate people. That might be to get fit, deal with mental health or just to be decent human beings. But there is a young man in the UK who is truly an inspiration to me and thousands of others. Today he is accomplishing such an impressive feat and I have done my best to support him on his journey. I truly hope my words of encouragement have helped him.
Marcus, known as @thehullboy on X, is a 17 year old who 2 years ago tried to end his life. He has been very public and transparent about his struggle with mental health made even more difficult by the fact that his dad suffers from dementia. A year ago Marcus decided to run a mile a day to raise awareness for mental health. Now, he was a big guy and so running could not have been easy but he did it. That lead to him running his first marathon in September. Wow, I thought, good for him for pushing himself all the while telling his story about his personal struggles but that was only the beginning, his ultimate test was still to come.
About 2 months ago Marcus set a goal that was pretty remarkable, he wanted to be the youngest person ever to have run the entire length of the UK. In doing so he set a goal of raising 20,000 GBP for mental health. Now this is a pretty big venture and I have followed his journey as he ran a marathon almost every day. There were a few setbacks such as a twisted ankle (I sent him a reply advising to take a couple days off to recover) and a car accident that totaled the ride along car which caused a bit of a delay but he kept going. I was proud a few days ago when he acknowledged his body needed a break and cut back a bit to do so. Every day when I see his posts I like or comment, always with as much encouragement as possible because I am so inspired by what he was trying to do.
Today is his last day on this journey and he will have met his goal. His fundraising has been going crazy the past few days especially yesterday when an anonymous donor kicked in 20k. As of yesterday he had raised 100,000 GBP all to help those who struggle with mental health. What an amazing job this young man has done. Even better, today all over X I saw such heartfelt messages of support from people who have never met him, they are just as impressed with him as I am.
I’m anxiously awaiting the final post that he has crossed that finish line though I know he will do it. I can’t wait to reply with how proud I am of this courageous young man in accomplishing a goal few of us would even consider. I truly hope this journey will put him on a path of enormous success because that is what he deserves.
So, be a Marcus. Inspire people around you and if you can’t do that, encourage those that do inspire others to keep doing so. Trust me, the past few days watching him closing in on his goals have made me feel better than I have in a long time.
It is definitely hot here in Playa del Carmen. Yesterday it got up to 37 degrees Celsius and it will likely be the same today. I spent a fair amount of time in our pool yesterday but to be honest it has been so hot lately that the pool is now like a tepid bath. However, it is still cooler that the outside air so provides some relief.
We are 2 weeks away from celebrating my brother’s 1st heavenly anniversary. If you recall he was with us at the condo when he passed. That was the 3rd year in a row that he had joined us for an extended trip at the condo and he loved it here. The challenge I have right now is that on Facebook memories of all those trips have been popping up almost every day. The ones from last year are the hardest because I think, if we only knew what was soon going to happen we would have done things differently. However, when I reflect on that I don’t think we would have. He looks so happy in all the pictures and he was obviously having a great time. What a way to spend the last 6 weeks of your life.
Living with these memories can be really hard but that is why I embrace Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead. The belief is that you are never truly gone as long as someone remembers you. Last year we put together the altar for Day of the Dead. This included memories and offerings such as my brother’s favourite things. We also set up a digital picture frame with lots of pictures of him (actually we still have those pictures running) and made sure there were things like KD and a can of Bud. My sister and I actually found it quite cathartic to set up that altar and as we would think of him we often came up with something to add.
On June 7th we are hosting a heavenly anniversary party for my brother. It will be a gathering of several of the friends he made down here. I know I will likely shed a few tears but I am hoping there will also be some great stories and lots of laughter. As for my sister back at home, close friends will be joining her for dinner that night, Chinese food of course. Pretty sure they will be sharing similar memories to ours in Playa.
Yet another beautiful day here in Playa del Carmen. It’s hard to believe that as of tomorrow I will have been here 7 weeks and still have 3.5 to go. Because this has been such a long trip issues have come up like my husband’s US taxes. It’s been fun navigating the IRS system from Mexico. After many hours of my time I managed to get time sensitive information faxed off to them before the deadline which hopefully will resolve everything. Now we just have to wait to see if Canada Post goes on strike since we need to mail a new tax return which can’t be filed online. Worse comes to worst we’ll have to let it wait until we get back home next month and can mail it from the US.
The other day we learned that Joe Biden has been diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and that it has metastasized to his bones. Sadly there are all sorts of people commenting on social media with all sorts of conspiracy theories about his doctor hiding the diagnosis while Biden was president, how there is no way cancer can metastasize so quickly, etc. My comment to that is the only words they should be posting is wishing Mr. Biden the best as he goes through treatment.
What his diagnosis did for me is to remind me how important it is to make sure you are healthy by being checked by medical professionals. I am going to concede that it may be easier said than done especially if you don’t have universal health care like we do. Having said that, I know plenty of people who believe that you only need to see your doctor when there is something wrong. Unfortunately that kind of mentality can lead to something not being diagnosed until it is too late or until serious damage had been done.
For me, I make sure my health is checked on a regular basis. I see my dentist twice a year (while we now have universal dental care, my husband and I don’t qualify so it is paid for out of our pockets). I also have my eyes checked by an optometrist every year (this is recommended for diabetics as you can be prone to things like glaucoma, retinopathy and cataracts). I do an annual physical with my family doctor which always includes a gamut of tests. And I ensure to be tested for colon cancer every 2 years and do a PAP test every 3 years. Of course since my Mom had breast cancer I do a screening mammogram every year.
Now I am pretty lucky because (knock on wood) at nearly 60 I am pretty healthy. My diabetes is in remission and I will continue to work hard to keep it there. Once I lost weight and got fit my blood pressure returned to normal levels. But I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for a doctor 7 years ago who was concerned about the level of stress I was under so ordered every test imaginable including an EKG, I could have gone on for years with diabetes until such time as it had done a lot of damage. I dodged that bullet because of the fact that doctor was very old school and believed that diseases could be asymptomatic.
And so for all of you out there doing the ‘I feel fine so I don’t need to see a doctor’ routine, please stop. Take your health seriously and make sure it is being checked by the professionals. I know, there is still no guarantee that you will be long lived but I figure if there are tools out there that will better my chances of being around for a long time I am going to make use of them.
Ok, I am really going off topic today but I feel I need to. Lately on social media (especially X) I have been seeing all of these absolutely hateful posts. All of them are when a responder disagrees with the original poster. I literally have cried at some of the awful words that are being said simply because people have different political opinions. Now don’t get me wrong, I know many of the people responding are extremists (both in the US and Canada) but what I don’t understand is how we got to the point as a society that this is ok. In my world it is not.
When my husband and I first met we had very different political beliefs, he was way right of center while I was a bit left of center (ok, now I am further left but that is a different story). That did not stop us from falling in love and getting married (and about to celebrate our 31st anniversary). Despite our differences we did not feel the need to insult or criticize each other for when we supported different political parties. As the years have gone by and my husband watched the work I did trying to make the world a better place, he slowly changed his political beliefs. I admit he is not exactly where I am now but certainly he has changed his view of politics.
We have a very eclectic group of friends in Canada, the USA and here in Mexico. Many of us share the same ideas as to who we want to lead our countries but not all. And yet, we are all friends who don’t find the need to disparage each other because of what political party we support. Some of those friends are on the exact opposite of the political spectrum than we are but there is a simple solution to it, we don’t talk politics when we gather, rather we just enjoy spending time together, it really is that simple. If we want to talk politics (and trust me my husband doesn’t) we have an awesome group of friends at home that are like minded that are more than willing to have that discussion with us.
One of our friends at home spent many years in our Provincial government in the opposite party to the one I support. Yet funny, not once in our political discussions did we ever feel the need to call each other names, we just had a friendly debate. Then there was my Uncle with whom every Christmas Eve brunch at his place I would get into a very rousing (and sometimes loud) political debate. Despite the fact we had nothing in common in terms of politics it was always in good fun especially hearing all of the extended family groan as soon as we got into it. As a matter of fact, that is what I miss most since he has passed.
So we can have different opinions and still be friends. Even if we aren’t friends, we can have different opinions and still be respectful, it is not that difficult if you want to be in a world where we are all allowed the freedom to have our own opinions, that is what my Dad as a teenage risked his life fighting in a war for us to have.
On a final note, I am disgusted at the people who are throwing around the slur, retard. Here’s the definition of that word per the Cambridge dictionary ‘a word for a person with a learning disability which was used by doctors in the past but is now extremely offensive’. Anyone using that horrible slur needs learn how to be a decent human being.
gwennefarrell 