gwennefarrell

I woke up this morning and realized for the first time since Thursday I didn’t cry yesterday. I think a large part of that had to do with the fact our friends here in Playa who all knew my brother did a blowout pool party send off for him on Sunday. We had thought it was just going to be a quite send off but nope, tons of food (ok, and booze) and so much laughter. I really think that party was very cathartic for me.

Another thing happened on Sunday. I’ve mentioned before that I feed all the cats in our complex. Many of them are feral but there are several that are obviously pets because they want human contact. My favourite is an orange and white friendly kitty that I have fed pretty much every day since I have been here. I missed him on Saturday because I did a walk far later than usual. But Sunday at the usual time he was waiting for me. I gave him his food and started walking a street that always loops me back to him for his 2nd helping. Occasionally he will walk with me which he did but this time was different. Normally he would just trot along behind me chatting away but Sunday he kept rubbing at my legs and crossing in front of me nearly tripping me.

I decided to stop and at that point that cat put his front paws on my knee and kept crying at me. I realized he wanted me to pick him up. Never had he done that with me before. So I scooped him up and he started purring and rubbing my cheeks. We did that for several minutes until he indicated he wanted down which I obliged. He then continued to walk with me back to his house but he walked beside me constantly looking up to check on me. I am certain he knew something was wrong and he wanted to comfort me. I saw him both yesterday and today but he is back to his normal routine of asking for his treats.

On top of that at the send off on Sunday 2 of the guests brought their dogs (after being encouraged to do so by the party organizer). The first was a golden retriever who is actually trained as a therapy dog. She was just so comforting to pet. The 2nd was this dachshund/chihuahua mix who is just full of energy. She is probably one of my favourite dogs that I have met down here and watching her antics just put a big smile on my face.

To me the comforting power of animals is amazing. Combined with enjoying the send off (ok, and the tequila) I think my kitty friend asking for cuddles and spending time with the dogs was exactly what I need to start moving forward.

I have no preamble today, I will just get to the point. Yesterday as we were at one of our favourite restaurants planning to have a few beers my brother suffered a massive heart attack and died. I won’t go in to all of the details but just know that he went quickly and had spent the last 6 weeks of his life in a place he truly loved.

Drew had a hard life. He had some significant learning disabilities that made things challenging for him. And because of that he was horribly bullied everywhere he went be that school, volunteering or work. He eventually made the best of that by telling his story in courses I facilitated that dealt with bullying in the workplace. Anyone who heard his story was stunned at what he had been through and many would tell him he changed how they looked at the way they treated people. He wasn’t like me in that public speaking was terrifying for him and yet he did his presentations to try and help others.

Drew also developed serious health issues. Despite not being overweight and having a very physical job he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in his mid 30’s. His specialist told us that he was sure Drew was one of the 20% that inherited the disease. And like our Dad he got all of the side affects of diabetes only worse. At 42 he had his first heart attack with his 2nd one when he was 51. He had 2 femoral bypasses, was in stage 4 renal failure and 3 years ago lost a leg because of an infection. Karma just couldn’t seem to give him a break.

I posted yesterday on my FB page as well as a community page. My sister also did a post. I don’t know how I can explain the amazing accolades that I have seen since these posts went up. Despite all that he had been through the way Drew seems to be remembered is that he was an immensely kind, caring person. While I always knew that I didn’t know that the rest of the world did as well. The number of people who have responded about what a wonderful person he was kind of shocked me though I don’t know why. I guess it was because I always thought people didn’t see him the way I did but apparently many of them did.

And while I am still crying as I write this and know that I will continue to cry for days, I am going to celebrate my my little brother who was also my best friend. He was an amazing person and while my heart is broken I keep telling myself that he died after spending 6 weeks in a place he truly loved. Chinese food tonight Drew, you know how that will be paid for.

I’ve come to realize that if I work out tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday then I will have done so every day we have been here except the first day which was reserved for shopping and setting up the condo. I have to admit this is the best I have done since I have found in the past that I tend to start waning the last week or so as I realize the fun in the sun is about to end. This time however I decided it was time to overcome that attitude and just keep going. Ok, I acknowledge that doing the Workout To Conquer Cancer campaign probably helped.

Today I reflect on the fact that it is the 80th anniversary of D-Day, the landing on the beaches in Normandy, France which brought about the beginning of the end of WW II. This day is important to me because my Dad actually participated in D-Day and landed at Normandy. He never talked about what he saw that day and it wasn’t until I saw the film Saving Private Ryan that I understood why. Seeing that film also made me understand why he would have PTSD. He did relate a funny story though, apparently James Arness (of Gunsmoke fame) was on one of the amphibian boats first sent out. He was the first into the water because he was 6′ 7″ and he was testing the depth of the water.

My Dad was very young when he landed at D-Day, only 21. He had started trying to enlist when the war broke out but of course he was too young. On 2 separate occasions he had runaway to sign up only to be brough home by my Grandfather. On the 3rd attempt my Grandfather gave up and at the age of 17 my Dad joined the war effort. At the time my Grandfather also joined despite being over 60 but he did what Dad did, lied about his age.

Today I appreciate all those who served in the Allied Forces during WW II particularly the Canadians. It is because of them that I enjoy the rights and freedoms that I have. With everything going on in the world right now including wars and the rise of racism, I look at what brave, young soldiers did to ensure our freedom and I send all of them my thanks.

I remember being in Reno not that long after 9/11. My sister and I were at the Elks Lodge and a US gentleman was talking about retribution against the Taliban. We had told him our Dad was a vet but I mentioned that I was a pacifist. He got very upset and told me my Dad would be ashamed of me. I laughed and explained hell yes he would be rolling over in his grave at some of my stances but he would be exceptionally proud that I was allowed to have those stances and the right to talk about them.

Thanks Dad!

We had a fabulous day on Sunday. We got together with a group of our friends for a pool party. It was potluck and the food was amazing. The weather was quite warm so there was a fair amount of pool time. Since we are leaving soon it was a great way to spend time with the friends we have made down here.

When I say Playa is just like White Rock I know it sounds strange because there are a lot of differences. This morning we were watching the news from home and heard it was 11 degrees, pouring rain and there was going to be major wind. Here it was already 31 degrees and sunny. And ok, there is no pool ten steps from the balcony off our bedroom in White Rock. But these are all known differences.

What I mean by the 2 locations being the same is that they are both home to us. I think when we set up the condo 6 years ago we were a bit naive as to what life was going to be like down here. Once we started coming down here for longer periods of time we realized we need to treat the condo as our home, not a vacation place. What that means to us is doing things similar to what we do in White Rock so eating out is more a once a week thing (I acknowledge that is not necessarily true this week as it is our last week here and we are trying to get a lot of things done). We have regularly scheduled days to do things like housecleaning and laundry and we stick to that schedule. I have a remote office set up in the condo so that I can work and deal with my volunteer organizations (though the rule is no evening meetings because tequila is usually involved by then). And of course I still workout every day just not quite as many hours.

We have done a number of things that we didn’t think we would need to do to accomplish this. For example, when we 1st set up the condo the only cooking appliances that we bought were an indoor electric griddle and a small slow cooker. To add to that we also bought inexpensive pots and pans. However, once we realized there was going to be more at home cooking during our long stays we came to realize that needed to change. And so to the list we added good stainless steel pots and pans, an Instant Pot, a dual air fryer, a large slow cooker and even a countertop convection oven (we have used the propane oven only a handful of times because it is so hot here you just don’t want it heating up the condo).

Trust me there are many other things we have managed to bring down here. We have enough books to open up a library. We have food items that we can’t find down here (HP sauce, Mrs Dash, to name a few). We have a tv system that allows us to watch all of our channels from home but then has a massive video on demand section. We have commuter bikes which fold up and are easily stored in our closet. Hell, I even have a standup paddle board with an electric pump.

So you see, our home in Playa is basically the same as our home in White Rock. Remember even the cats and dogs because I have befriended pretty much every single one that lives in the complex. This may not have been what we originally envisioned but boy, is it the way it turned out.

A memory popped up on FB from 8 years ago, my Mom’s 80th birthday party. It was a picture of all the family that attended. It is a special picture because we would lose Mom 4 months later. But looking at that picture I realized in the past 8 years we have lost 4 of those family members, Mom, her brother, a cousin and my beloved aunt who passed away this year. I’ve decided I’m just going to think of the happy time we had that day, the last full gathering of the family.

Today is June 1st and I am proud to announce that I met my commitment to Workout To Conquer Cancer. Yes, at least 30 minutes of working out every day during the month of May. The end result was instead of 930 minutes, I did 3,500. Ok, yesterday I realized after my hour walk then an hour of bootcamp that I was only 20 minutes short of hitting 3,500 minutes so of course went out for a walk. Problem was it was unbelievably hot and humid so by time I was done I was absolutely soaked with sweat.

This is the 3rd challenge I have done this year. I started with Dry February to raise funds for the BC Cancer Foundation (ok, I started late but still 4 weeks with no alcohol). I then moved on to Climb The Wall, climbing 48 stories to raise money for the BC Lung Foundation. Now I have done the Workout To Conquer Cancer to again raise funds for the BC Cancer Foundation. All of these I have successfully completed and have hit up pretty much all of my friends to raise money (note, I try to only hit my friends up once a year so I rotate through them for each fundraiser).

But why do I do this? I do it because it keeps me accountable. By that I mean if I am asking people to donate I have to follow through with the challenge. So, not once did I have alcohol during my Dry February 4 weeks. I trained every day for a month leading up to the Climb The Wall day. And I have not missed a single day of working out during May (note I actually have not missed a day since we arrived and only have 8 more days here and plan to a workout on each of those days). As a matter of fact, during this last challenge I asked people not to ‘buy’ me a day off which was actually an option because I know I would use that as an excuse. I like that these events as they force me to stay on track because it helps motivate me when those voices in my head tell me to take a break.

And so I will keep finding these events. I actually saw one for June where you have to cycle at least 200km and I am considering doing that even though I am not a big biking fan. However, I think it is just the challenge I need to shake things up a bit. I’ll keep you posted on whether I do it or not.

I did a check today on where I am in my activity minutes for the Workout To Conquer Cancer campaign. If you recall I had to do at least 30 minutes of exercise each day for the month of May which would mean by tomorrow I should have logged 930 minutes. Right now, with one day to go, I am at 3,360 minutes. I know I will do another 120 tomorrow but I’ve decided to find a way for an extra 20 minutes so that I make 3,500 minutes. That just shows I have not missed a single day of working out while I am here and I intend to keep it up for the remainder of our stay. It will be the best I have done since doing trips to the condo again in 2022.

My husband and I don’t have a lot of friends. That is not a sad statement in any way because we have a circle of close friends both here in Mexico and at home. I am reminded of how important it is to have that close circle as I look at memories on FB from 2 years ago. It was then that my sister had a major fall, badly breaking her leg. Our neighbour, who is in that close circle of friends, saw the firetruck arrive and immediately went over to see what was going on and then proceeded to keep us up to date. Another good, young friend happened to be there when this happened and made sure to help get my sister’s sugar levels up. Still another good friend and former co-worker drove the 30 miles from Vancouver to pick up our dogs so they weren’t left alone waiting for us to return from the condo and despite the fact she was recovering from a broken kneecap managed to take them on short walks. Those are the friends we want to have.

We have the same here in Mexico. We have a handful of friends that we celebrate the important things with. For example, Tuesday was our 30th anniversary (hence why there was no post) and we couldn’t have asked for a better group to celebrate with us. This even included one friend who had painted a picture of my beloved Mackie, knowing that I still grieve him every day. These are the people that we go to when we have problems while here and the ones that we will also do anything to help if they need it.

I had a close friend the other day talking about people they thought were their friends that really were pretty superficial. I explained that we have 2 levels of friends, those that we would walk through fire for and those we would assist if need be. There is a distinct difference. But in all honesty, it is the first group that is important to us in that they are not just about socializing, they are about being the ones to call on if needed (and the ones that will call on us) and are the ones that really matter. The social group is great but they are not the ones that we would go to if we needed help. They are not the ones that instantly know they have to call to talk me off a ledge and vice versa.

At this point I need to do a bit of a shout out to our neighbours and our coffee group (really this group are my political allies though my husband has grown to appreciate them as well). Being in Mexico for 6 1/2 weeks leaving my low vision sister on her own is challenging. However, the gang has as always come through, along with a few other close friends, to ensure shopping is done, dogs are walked, meetings are attended and socializing is happening. We could never leave my siblings alone at home if it wasn’t for the caring and support that these people are willing to provide.

So look around you at the people you consider friends and determine how important they are to you because in life friendship is about quality, not quantity.

Sorry if you were looking for a post Thursday, sometimes while at the condo I get a bit distracted by having a good time. And yes, that often involves tequila.

I had my blog planned out for today but then I saw a post on FB this morning that changed everything. Here is what it said,

Just in case you needed to be reminded…. Summer months are upon us!!!!
If you see a small girl wearing a bikini, mind your business.
If you see a big girl wearing a crop top, mind your business.
If you see a girl not wearing a bra, mind your business.
If a girl of any size doesn’t fit your definition of beautiful, hot or sexy because she is too “skinny” or too “fat”…. Keep your toxic shitty comments to yourself . 
You do not have the right to make anyone feel any less for being a certain size.

Mind ya damn business!!

Now it has taken me a long time while on this journey to get my head in a space where I am comfortable showing parts of my body in public. By this I mean doing things like wearing a 2 piece bathing suit (not a tanktini) or a shorter skirt/dress. My body has flaws. For example, I have previously talked about the fact that when you lose as much weight as I have you end up with excess skin and it is not exactly a pretty sight. But, I look at some of the pictures of me down here and I see the muscles in both my arms and legs and have gotten myself to that place where I think the good stuff is more important than those flaws. And besides, I have earned them.

I posted on FB once about a woman I met in Los Cabos. She was a big gal, I’m pretty sure over 250 lbs yet she had enough self-confidence that she was comfortable with herself and wore a 2 piece bathing suit all the time. We were at the condo when I made that post and I noted how jealous I was of her and the women I was seeing on the beach here with larger bodies but they were ok with wearing those types of bathing suits and yet then, even with the weight I had lost, I wasn’t there yet. A long time friend commented back that she didn’t like it when larger women wore 2 piece suits which of course just made me stay in my shell.

But that post today made me say FUCK YES (sorry for the language but that is literally what I said to my husband who also loved the post). If someone is comfortable with how they look then it is absolutely no one else’s business. Everyone has a right to determine what they are comfortable with and if you want to judge them then you damn well better makes sure that everything about you is beyond perfect. And I will say for me, women judging other women’s looks is one of the worst things possible.

And so I commit going forward that I am going to be confident in whatever I am wearing. If I am comfortable in an outfit then that is all that matters. I am not going to let what others think be the driving force in how I look, it is what I think that is important.

Lastly, I refer back to a post I recently made, it should be easier to be kind than to be nasty. I truly hope that is a mantra that I live by.

I don’t know why but I always feel guilty when I don’t do my normal fitness class. For example, yesterday was a holiday in Canada so my fitness centre opted to not do the 5:30am class and instead do a 9:15am class and then 1 afternoon class. 9:15am would be 11:15am at the condo and by then I am actively doing other things and don’t really have interest in working out. I decided the best course of action would be a 2 hour 10km walk first thing. But then I felt bad because I hadn’t done bootcamp. I really don’t get this because I still did 2 hours of exercise. As a matter of fact since I got to the condo 6 days a week I do 2 hours of exercise with Sunday giving myself a break and only do 1 hour. So seriously, I am meeting the commitment I made when we came down here.

My maternal Grandmother had a malignant mole removed from her calf in the early 50’s. Back then out of caution they didn’t just take the margins of the cancer they took a big chunk of her calf (they told her should would always walk with a cane but she was too stubborn to do that). She would spend the next 20 years going for checkups at the Cancer Clinic. I myself had a scare a little over 20 years ago when a mole on my calf went funky. A biopsy was done and it turned out to be pre-cancerous. Finally, a few years ago a co-worker was diagnosed with Stage 3 malignant melanoma, eventually this would metastasize and she would die when she was about 50.

I always wear sunscreen because I want to protect myself. So since it is skin cancer awareness month I want to share what the Canadian Skin Cancer Foundation recommends.

• Apply sunscreen at least 20 minutes before going in the sun
• When initially applied it should form a film on the skin
• Reapply every 2 hours or after swimming or heavy perspiration
• Alternate applications of sunscreen with applications of bug spray
• Apply sunscreen after moisturizer and before makeup
• Wear sunscreen daily throughout the year.

I’d like to add a few things to this list.

• Remember to always apply sunscreen to your ears even if wearing a hat
• If you are bald or balding, remember to apply sunscreen to your head
• Remember to apply sunscreen under your clothes for example under the straps of a bathing suit
• Even if you have a tan or are dark skinned sunscreen is still important

Now I have been in Mexico for nearly 4 weeks and I have fair skin yet during that time only a very small section of my skin even turned slightly pink (see the apply under bathing suit strap recommendation). I am extremely careful especially when I am here this time of year. And yet whenever I go into town I see people who have obviously spent too much time in the sun without enough sunscreen. Moreover, they are not even letting their skin heal by staying out of the sun or wearing protective clothing. I just don’t understand this.

Skin cancer used to be an older person’s disease. This is no longer the case according to the CSCF, and skin cancer is now seen in people in their 20’s. So be smart, protect yourself with sunscreen, apply it properly and wear it all year if you are going to be in the sun.

One last comment, as mentioned I have fair skin and I have a number of moles making me in the higher risk category. And so I check my moles regularly and if I find one that seems to have changed or looks different than my other moles I ask my doctor to check it. Please do the same if you have the same skin type.

It is hard to believe that as of tomorrow we only have 3 weeks left at our condo. I can’t believe how quickly the past 3 1/2 weeks have gone. Funny, time passes so slowly when we are waiting to come down here but then zips along at sonic speed while we are here. I guess I am just going to have to work harder at enjoying the awesome weather and our great friends.

Yesterday the owner of the fitness centre that I belong to posted on FB about it is the role of the fitness instructors to take us out of our comfort zone. They do this by challenging us with things like upping the weights we are using, pushing us a little harder, always trying the difficult way to do an exercise first and in general telling us to do the best that we can. For me them pushing me out of my comfort zone has made accepting challenges my new normal. It has helped me remove those mental barriers that tell me what I can’t do and instead I now always go to I’ll give it a try.

Just as an example, doing pull ups. We do these by standing on resistance bands and doing basically a chin up. The first time this came up during bootcamp I literally panicked. I destroyed my knee by falling though a hole that had been cut in the ceiling. That hole had simply been covered by a thin sheet of veneer so it obviously could not hold my weight when I stepped on it. 30 years after the fact I still have a fear of things like walking on platforms so the thought of standing on those skinny little resistance band terrified me. I did it that time but vowed never again because I was so frightened. The next time that exercise was in the mix I said no, I am not doing that and was given an alternative. However, after round one in our circuit I said screw this, I am going to keep doing these pull ups until I am no longer terrified of them. Well guess what, they are no longer an issue for me.

I posted back on FB that it is because of these instructors challenging me I now do 1 armed planks. I seldom want modifications to exercises (only ones that I know my knee won’t allow me to do such as kneeling) and usually if there is a ‘hard’ version of an exercise I give it a try. Challenging myself is what has gotten me to a fitness level I have never been at before but is where I want to stay. And those annoying voices in my head that try to stop me have all but disappeared.

So make challenging yourself your new normal. Get out of that comfort zone and strive to improve yourself. You only limit yourself if you don’t give it a try. And really, if you find you can’t do something, keep working on it, you will get there.

Game 5 of the Vancouver Canucks in the current round of the Stanley Cup playoffs and it appears my husband is fully on the bandwagon. Today he is wearing his Canucks’ jersey (I have no idea where he got that) and that is pretty impressive given the fact it is over 30 degrees in our condo right now. We likely won’t watch the game tonight because it doesn’t start until 9pm Playa time and quite frankly staying up late is no longer something we like to do. Instead when I get up at 5am tomorrow I will check the internet to get the results.

Since last Saturday our condo has been in absolute chaos as much of the tiles in the living area had to come up so a new subfloor could be put in. It was a far more complicated job than we had anticipated. First the tiles had to be carefully removed (if any broke we would have to buy all new ones because we wouldn’t be able to but the same ones again) then the old subfloor jackhammered away. Once that was done the tiles had to be reinstalled and then grouted. As a final step what we thought would be touch up painting done on a wall where plaster had been removed became plaster being replaced then the full wall being painted (because they used the wrong ‘white’ paint). Finally after the 5th day of work everything was completed so we got our condo back to normal (still working on removing all of the construction dust).

During those 5 days my routine got seriously messed up. I had been doing a 5km walk every weekday morning followed by an online fitness class (weekends the classes start too late so I just do walks). With the fact that our condo was a construction zone I wasn’t able to do my class Monday through Wednesday this week so I opted for 10km walks each morning. I do have to say I much prefer doing long walks at home as the scenery here gets a bit boring. But this morning I was back at it and I admit I realized how much I have missed doing full body workouts. There was a few technical glitches getting logged on but the trainer got me up to speed pretty quickly.

This was the 1st time since we got here that I have done the Thursday Power Hour class and I loved how brutal it was. The trainer had posted the other day on FB that she was trying to figure out how to do a combination of Thunderstruck (every time they say thunder in the song you do a burpee and do fast feet in place in between) and Bring Sally Up (you do a squat pulse and when they sing Bring Sally Up you stand up then go back down into the pulse). Unfortunately for those of us in today’s class she had worked it out. So, on comes the song Tubthumping and every time they say ‘I get knocked down’ we had to do a burpee with fast feet in between. When it got to the slow parts of the song we had to do the squat pulse. I never realized exactly how long that song was but I am pretty sure it went on for 10 minutes (ok, I know it didn’t). But at the end, feeling a huge sense of accomplishment, I thought yep, back to normal being pushed to the limit.

I also realized today out on my walk that my ankle didn’t even twinge. And so tomorrow, despite the fact that at 6am it will already by 30 degrees, I am going to try for a run. If I pull that off then everything is back to normal again.