gwennefarrell

A few of you aren’t friends with me on Facebook so do not know the the struggles of the past few days. Wednesday marked 9 weeks that my brother has been in hospital battling an infection in his foot. It also was the day they advised they had made the difficult decision to amputate his lower leg. My brother struggles with learning disabilities and because of COVID restrictions I have not been there to give him the emotional support he needs. To say this has weighed heavily on me is an understatement.

I’m up at my trailer where normally I don’t workout out as much. I got up yesterday and thought I really don’t want to go for a run. Then I realized what a long day it was going to be to see if the amputation would happen (they were going to do it yesterday but it is now bumped until this morning). I decided I should do an 8 km run but when I started off I realized I had forgotten my AirPods so couldn’t listen to a book. I decided to keep running and just get my head together. I quickly knew I had to focus as my shoulders and neck were really tense so I put my mind to relaxing. After awhile I felt my form was pretty good so I did what I do best, think about next steps and plan for the future. By time I finished that run my head was clear, I felt calm and was ready to take on a stressful day.

It wasn’t until about 5:30pm yesterday that they told us the surgery was bumped but would definitely happen today. Oh goody, I thought, another stressful day of waiting (please note I frequently remind myself while this may be hard on me it is even more difficult for my brother). I got up this morning and decided a 5 km run would be good but this time I deliberately left the AirPods behind because I again need to focus on my thoughts. Once again it worked and by the end I was ready to take on the day.

A fellow runner reached out to me yesterday and suggested I try to do a run as it might help. I told her I had already done 8 km and then said words I never thought I would say, it really helped.

Normally on Sunday I take the day off but have decided another easy 5 km will likely be in order tomorrow.

A memory popped on Facebook today. 2 years ago I was proudly boasting that I had lost 30 lbs. I literally laughed out loud. Who knew that 2 years later I would be down another 74 lbs and doing 8 km runs?

back in March I reached my final goal weight of 130 lbs for a total loss of 92 lbs. I vowed to myself that this was the weight I would be going forward. I didn’t really change the way I eat but I was upping my training. I was working out about 4 hours a day at least 5 days a week and still felt good about it. For a few months my weight stayed around 130 lbs and I was pretty happy. Then, my training really started to ramp up and the scale started moving again. Today I weighed in at 118 lbs, 12 lbs below my goal.

About a month ago a friend commented on FB that I should exercise less and eat more. I took part of that advice and have decreased my workouts on days that I train for my 10 km run. That means I skip the 1 1/2 hour midday walk. I figured with running longer and farther I didn’t need the extra calorie burn. Despite doing that I still dropped another 4 lbs since then. As for the eating, nope I don’t need to eat more, that’s what got me to my peak weight to begin with. I actually probably eat more each day now than when I was obese but know I just make way better choices. This is helped by the fact that during the summer we get such awesome fruits and veggies. Seriously, I can never get enough BC cherries!

The good news is this is all working and I feel great. The bad news is some of my clothes are once again getting too big and I really don’t want to do another shopping spree.

This week I am doing training that is even more challenging than last week. Coach has upped my interval training to 10 sets of 10 minutes running and 1 minute of walking which I will do 2 days this week. On top of that I will do 2 8 km runs. If I survive this and feel good about it then next week I will get to try a 10 km run. I think I am up to the challenge.

I learned during the pandemic that keeping yourself almost completely isolated can be very draining on you both physically and mentally. It’s the reason I started calling isolated seniors and more importantly it was why I started walking which started my journey with weight loss. After surviving the last 16 months I’ve come to appreciate all the things that I had previously taken for granted and that includes taking some time for myself.

Prior to COVID my sister and I used to do “fun Fridays”, just doing something different that we would enjoy. Of course, along with many other things, we had to give that up for over a year. However, with things opening up I decided we needed to do something just for us. I found a local winery that offered wine tasting while sitting outside in a plastic dome. Included in the price was a meat and cheese lunch (locally produced). I booked a reservation for last Thursday and when my sister committed to helping with a volunteer event on the same day I told her no, we are not changing our pre-booked event because we needed to just take some time for ourselves.

We’ve been through a lot during this pandemic. My husband has been home only 10 days since the end of February 2020. We’ve been dealing with our brother’s serious ongoing health issues. We have missed many celebrations. I think most of all we have missed our friends and family. I just felt we could be a little selfish and do this outing for us.

Both of us were so glad we did this. We sampled several wines, enjoyed an awesome lunch and just relaxed for a couple hours. Doing this made both of us feel great. Sometimes you just need to do something that is just for you. If you do that occasionally trust me you will feel so much better and you will be ready to face whatever comes next.

Yesterday I was doing a 5 km run along the promenade and saw something awesome. I live in such a beautiful part of our province and often I see bald eagles in the trees just watching what us silly humans are doing. But yesterday as I was running I look down at the beach and there was this beautiful eagle standing at the edge of the water looking at the ocean. Seriously, it took my breath away.

Yesterday, following my coach’s training plan, I ran 5 km. That wasn’t a big deal as I have done it a couple times before. But today was the big one, 8 km (for my American friends that is 5 miles). Coach had told me to try it but if it was too much I was to take a couple walking breaks. Nope, ran all 8 km without stopping. I admit the final phase of this was a bit tough because where I live there is no way to get back from the beach without running up a hill but I just talked myself into the fact that this would be the hardest part and that it was only 7 more blocks to go.

When I was done I was amazed at what I had accomplished. 6 months ago I was doing 30 second running intervals, today it was 1 1/2 hours (yes, still slow but that is ok). I thought wow, 55 year old woman decides that for the first time in her life she is going to run and look what happened. Days like today I decide it is just right to be proud, down 102 lbs and now so close to my running a 10 km goal that I can taste it.

This formerly short, fat chick (now short skinny chick) has come a long way. I am just going to keep doing this, traveling a journey that will keep me healthy and strong.

Something interesting happened today, I seemed to have picked up my pace. I’m not sure how it happened but I ran further during my interval training than I normally do. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still a very slow runner but apparently I pushed it today (as shown by the amount of cardio I did) and had to add several extra blocks to get through the last interval. Maybe the stronger I get the faster I will go.

I was very excitedTuesday because I was supposed to be going for lunch with one of my closest friends and a former co-worker of ours. We had been planning this for months while we waited for the COVID restrictions to be removed so that we could safely be together. I selected White Spot as the restaurant because I really wanted a Monty Mushroom burger with fries and gravy. Unfortunately at the last minute we had to cancel lunch and I was devastated so I said to my sister, lunch is on me and we’re going to White Spot. Yes, I had that burger with fries and gravy and did not for 1 second feel guilty.

Because I knew I would be doing this lunch I was very careful the week beforehand particularly watching my carbs. Last weekend I had lunch with my siblings and some good friends but knowing the upcoming carbs and calories that would soon happen I made sure that it was a very healthy, lower calorie lunch. Moreover I made sure to book both lunches on training days when I knew I would be burning off a lot of calories.

To be clear, I don’t do this often but it is occasionally good to treat yourself. I’ve talked before about this lifestyle being sustainable and I don’t think it can be if you deprive yourself constantly. I will also admit it still would have been ok if I hadn’t done it this way, I could easily have worked off that glorious burger in a few days but I just didn’t want any regrets.

The last time I had one of those burgers was 6 months ago so it is not like I do this often. Having said that, I am down about 19 lbs since that last one so I figure I deserved the reward. Bottom line, it is ok to treat yourself on occasion and feel good about it.

This week is a gruelling training week. I’ve upped my training intervals to 10 of 9:00 minutes running and 1:00 minute walking which I will do 2 days. I then will have a day of running 5 km and another running 8 km. Now for those of you who are concerned I am pushing it, not too worry my coach gave me guidance on what to do if it feels like too much. Quite frankly I am really looking forward to safely trying the 8 km on Saturday.

One of the things I really keep track of is my gait. As I have mentioned before, I worked hard to teach myself how to walk without a limp which was pretty hard to do since my knee does not bend anywhere near what it should nor can I straighten my leg fully. I particularly worried as my running increased that I would be having a bit of a limp as I run. Turns out I don’t. I monitor my walking asymmetry (which measures your walking pattern) and it is excellent. I also watch my double support time (measuring the percentage of time that both feet are on the ground) and it is always bang on normal. Yes, I do have to concentrate on making those things happened but it seems to be working.

I should note, I have been working hard on the exercises my physio gave me last week. While some of these exercises are quite difficult I can sure feel them working. Yesterday when I did the dreaded Oxford hill climb I realized my knee wasn’t bothering me later in the day as it often does. That tells me my hip muscles are getting stronger which ultimately will help me have a strong, balanced gait and help keep me injury free.

I went to my nail salon yesterday to get a nail repaired. One of the staff there always asks where I am in my weight loss so I told her I had hit the 100 lb mark. She shouted at the top of her lungs, Gwenne has lost 100 lbs. The salon was packed and for a moment there was silence but then everyone in the salon started cheering and applauding. Each woman personally congratulated me and told me how awesome I look. Boy did that give my ego a huge boost.

When I was at physio this week my PT was checking my gait and said, look at those muscles. He’s right, I have very defined muscles in my legs. I had worn a long sleeved t-shirt that day so I couldn’t show him my arms and shoulders which are also very muscular now. While I’ve been lifting weights (only 5 lbs) for months I realized recently that my arms are now very toned. I attribute this to the action of pumping my arms when I train which of course is now 4 times a week.

I have to admit it has taken some time for me to get used to all these positive changes to my body. When I started walking/running the beach again every time I passed a storefront with a large glass window I would see my reflection and wonder if I really was that thin. I realized today that mentality has changed. As I ran past those storefronts today I was still checking my reflection but now it is to check out my gait and make sure I am running evenly on both legs, a much more positive thing to be doing.

I find it ironic that I had no problem accepting my body when I was obese but I seem to have struggled to accept it now that I am thin and fit. Maybe it is because I still don’t believe I have managed to do all of this. Whatever it is, I’m starting to move my way of thinking so that I embrace the body I plan to have for the rest of my life.

I’m a bit late today as I amgoing through yet another family health crisis which distracted me. Unfortunately my sister is currently in the emergency room at the local hospital. Not really sure what is going on yet but since I have been in this scenario before with both siblings being in hospital I am a bit concerned.

I started to realize that whenever I did the 1 mile walk up the dreaded Oxford hill my bad knee would begin to bother me within a few hours, doesn’t bother me when I run or do my Stayte hill intervals just when I do the huge steep hill. It didn’t feel like joint pain but instead I felt it was a muscular issue. So I decided to contact my physio therapist who I have seen for nearly 30 years since I first blew out my knee to see if he could give me some muscle training exercises.

The first thing he said when he realized who I was, HOLY SHIT! Of course we went through my weight loss and the physical work I was doing. I actually thought he would give me shit because running would be hard on my arthritic knee but I was surprised when he told me it is a good thing. Studies have now shown that moving and working arthritic joints hard helps them. He feels if I can keep this up for as long as possible it will help stave off the knee replacement they told me 14 years ago that I was going to need.

My knee was fully checked (it is strong though as it has been for nearly 3 decades is limited in mobility). Then it was on to checking things like my gait, balance and strength in my leg. Turns out that this is not a problem with my knee but rather in the quad and hip muscles in my bad leg. I knew my anti-limp walking had impact my leg but was stunned at the difference in the hip muscle compared to my good leg. He walked me through a massive amount of different exercises to do and I panicked a bit and asked if I had to add all of them daily because seriously it would be a full time job. He laughed and said no, rotate a few of them into my strength exercises each day. At the end of our session he thanked me and said he would be going home to his wife to tell her he had the best day ever after seeing what I had accomplished.

The point to this post is I recognized something wasn’t right and I reached out to my amazing community for help. I never would have known it wasn’t my knee but other supporting structures. As my coach says, listen to your body and I did just that.

Just back from spending a few days at the trailer with the princess cat. Unfortunately during the heat wave last week some of the wifi equipment got damaged. That meant if I wanted to do anything on my iPad I had to tether it to my phone. Pretty sure I used up a good chunk of my data plan over the past few days.

Training while at the lake is kind of boring. When I’m at home and the weather is nice I get to walk/run along our beautiful bay which in itself keeps me distracted. There is always lots of people to greet, sometimes I run into a friend, often times I am trying to strategically figure a safe pathway around flocks of Canada geese (they are especially mean when they are with their goslings) or avoiding diving seagulls. It means my mind is always working.

The lake is very different. I run on the road that winds throughout the resort but just keep passing the same trailers, trust me I have memorized more trailer brand names than I ever thought I would need to know. I then head out to the road into the resort and run down to the highway. 3 loops around the resort and 2 runs to the highway is what I need to do to hit my goals.

So to avoid total boredom while training at the lake I have to listen to a very engaging book. Can’t be one of those fluff books, has to something I need to focus on. I learned last summer (before I had dared walking to the beach and back up the hill) when I was getting a bit tired of walking uptown and seeing the same things all the time that this would keep my head is the game and not provide me with an excuse to quit. I realized it was really working when I listened to Dr Jason Fung’s The Diabetes Code. Because I loved his anecdotes so much I wanted to do another walk just so I could listen to more. Right now I am listening to Road To Tara which is a biography about Margaret Mitchell. It is fascinating hearing about how she came to be a writer and developed Gone With The Wind. Focusing on that story means the boredom is kept at bay.

I do want to note that today I started my new intervals, 8:00 minutes running/1:00 minute walking for 10 intervals. That means I actually ran for 80 minutes and 9.69 km. I so see doing that 10 km soon.

Today is a special post but I just couldn’t wait. I’m skipping my normal preamble story and getting right to the awesome topic. I stood on the scale this morning, looked at the numbers and stepped back off thinking that can’t be right. I stepped back on and yep, it still read 120.8 lbs. That means I have lost 101 friggin’ lbs!!!!! What the hell??? How did I, a middle aged obese woman, lose more than 100 lbs?

I picture myself just over a year ago at 185 lbs, after having lost 37 lbs, thinking doing some walking would be a good idea. I remember the emotion at just over 160 lbs when one of my best friends told me I didn’t need to lose 20 more lbs because I looked great. I was ecstatic a few months later when my BMI went from obese at 38.1 to in the normal range (today it is at 21). I was so proud that by time my husband was finally home at Christmas that I was at my goal of 140 lbs. And then it was in March getting to 130 lbs, the same weight I was at 18 years old. Now I am at a weight I have never seen in my adult life. Moreover, I am toned, I am strong, I am fit and most of all I am healthy.

Both my husband and brother had the same reaction when I told them, you can stop now. I laughed and told them I had already started dialling back my workouts. I have lost 45% of my peak weight. I have gone from a 1x to a size small. I have dropped 12 dress sizes and for the first time ever I wear a size 6. I have begun to accept this is me, same person inside but much better outside. I know I can stay this way going forward and that is what I really want to do, Gwenne 2.0 just feels great.

I hope that at least one person reading this gets motivated and starts this incredible journey. That is why I’ll continue with this blog as I work on that goal of running 10k. If I can lose more than 100 lbs I can run 10k!