My Journey With Health And Fitness – How I See Myself

I have to wonder why weather karma is out to get me. Every day that I have done a run here has been extremely warm. This morning I planned to do a run and by 7am it was already 29 degrees! Trust me by time that run was finished I was soaked with sweat. I am so looking forward to being back here in January when running should be much easier.

I posted a picture on Facebook the other day showing my new 2 piece swimsuit which I plan to wear to the beach this week. When I looked at that picture I told my husband that is not how I see myself. You see to me I am still a big girl. When I look at my body I still see the decades of obesity. To me my legs are huge but then I looked at that picture and thought wait, your legs are pretty skinny. I don’t know why I can’t get my head wrapped around the fact that the obesity is gone and if I keep working hard it will stay that way.

I’m an intelligent woman so you would think that when I buy close in small sizes my head should be able to sort out that I can’t be big. But no, to me it is almost like some sort of illusion that I wear a size 6. You would also think that having been smaller for a few years now that I would be used to how I look but again no, I am always surprised when I see myself in a picture. Maybe someday I will get to the point where I just accept this is who I am now but I guess I am just not there yet.

Apparently I still have some work to do on my mental fitness.