gwennefarrell

Well we have certainly gotten lucky here, the weather is supposed to be awesome for at least the next week. This is very unusual for the west coast of BC in that normally we have rain the entire month of November. Not this year, it is supposed to be really sunny. The downside is it is not going to be warm first thing in the morning which makes it even more important for me to layer up. Of course that means nothing I wear actually matches but what the hell.

Since I got home from Mexico more than a month ago I have been committed to challenging myself more and more. Sometimes it is simple things like when the trainer says to do 10-12 reps I opt to do 12. Or the other day when the trainer said to try and use a weight heavier than you think you should and I did and actually got through all of the exercises. I’ll say for that particular class it was often hard but I realized I could stretch myself even more.

However, I have also been pushing other things in class. For example when an easier modification is offered for an exercise I take the harder method (note, this does not include anything involving kneeling for which I always do the modification because of my bad knee). I have even started doing all the higher level cardio work some of which before Mexico I didn’t think I could do.

Today I realized just how committed to challenging myself I have become. After bootcamp class I wanted to hit the road for 2.5 hours of walking (a luncheon and other commitments were going to take up the rest of my day). I decided to start out with an 5k run so off I went. After I hit the 5k mark I thought let’s do a bit more and get to 6k. Somehow I just kept going and the next thing I knew I had just run 8k which I haven’t done in a while. You know what, I am more than in shape to do that kind of run. I’ve decided I am even going to try it again tomorrow.

Challenging myself is just another tool I am using to stay motivated and on track and it seems to be working. Oh, that and the fact that all my clothes fit again and some are even a little loose. So I say, bring it on, I plan to just keep going.

I was really short on time today. Not only did I have to work out but I had a luncheon to go to which would involve about 1 1/2 hours of driving. I did my hour bootcamp first thing then after resting and rehydrating I headed out for a 2 hour walk. My game plan was after that walk to do a short rest then head out for another walk. However, as I got close to home I decided, screw it and just kept walking. Yep, today was a single 3 hour walk.

The reason I hadn’t been posting the past little while was because I was out of town at a convention. It was interesting to attend because while I have been to numerous political conventions this was the first one for my sister and I kind of got to see it through her eyes. One of the good things about this convention was that I got to see so many people that I haven’t seen since before COVID. However, that came with a downfall, many people did not recognize me and I had to keep explaining who I was. One of these people was someone I have known for 3 decades. Now don’t get me wrong, there were people attending the convention who have followed my journey but those who didn’t know how much I have changed were the ones who didn’t know me at first. By the end of the 2nd day I was getting frustrated with this and posted about it on Facebook.

I should have seen what was about to happen as soon as I did that post, my friend did a video call and she was irate. To explain, not irate at the people I was referring to but at me for not putting it proudly on myself. By that I mean, she screamed at me that I have worked hard and it is about bloody time that I started wearing what I have accomplished as a giant, neon-flashing badge of honour. She demanded that going forward I take not being recognized as a compliment EVERY SINGLE TIME.

We all have that one friend who always has the courage to give you shit when you deserve it and this is the friend that called. I have to say, I am really glad she did that.

Not sure how I missed the memo because I normally follow the weather forecast but it was surprisingly cold this morning. I had hoped that by time I headed off for my 2 hour walk after bootcamp that it would be a bit warmer but nope, still cold. I had really layered up before heading out for that walk and I can honestly say I didn’t remove any layers before I got home. Still it was clear and sunny out so it was a beautiful walk along the beach.

I am always planning ahead as to how I will fit in enough workouts each day. It becomes quite challenging the end of this week as I am off to a convention but I have found a gym close to my hotel where I can get in at least a 90 minute workout each day. However, this past weekend with the Remembrance Day celebrations I knew I was just going to have to suck it up and cut back on exercise. And so on Saturday I did a good hour long walk and Sunday I skipped working out all together.

Again this was all well planned in advance and I haven’t taken that kind of time off in 5 months. Still, especially Sunday, I spent all day looking at my Fitbit and agonizing over the fact that I was not going to meet a single one of my daily goals. To be honest, I actually obsess about those goals. Ultimately I forced myself to stop checking and come to the realization that this short 2 day break will have absolutely no impact on my overall journey.

I know that it is just the way my brain works and there is not much I can do about it other than finding something else to focus on. So that is what I did and reminded myself that I have worked hard and am close to my goal. Sometimes I just have to ignore those annoying voices in my head and keep moving forward.

Oh, and to make up for the weekend yesterday I walked 5 hours, 43k steps and about 30 km. Sigh, ok mentally I may still have room for improvement.

Yesterday was weigh in day the first time since before I went to Mexico. My trainer warned me that just due to all the muscles I have developed that my weight loss may have plateaued. Nope, the scale definitely moved and I know while in Mexico I gained a few pounds so I am happy with how much I now weigh. I am 3/4 of the way to my goal and when I told my trainer how much more I want to lose she asked me exactly where on my body did I need to lose weight. I told her it is just in my stomach area and she warned me these last few pounds will be the most difficult. She claims that I am now toned at nearly body builder level (huh?) and I have to be careful that I am loosing the small amount of remaining fat and not muscle. I told I would just keep trying to eat healthy and see how that goes.

Today is Remembrance Day and that is always a special day for my family. In 1940 my Dad enlisted in the Canadian Army at the age of 17. He had run away 2 previous times to try and enlist always to be dragged back home by my Grandfather (note the legal age to enlist was 18). On the 3rd attempt my Grandfather conceded and allowed Dad to join up. I should note my Grandfather at the time also lied about his age (he was 62) in order to enlist as well.

My Dad saw a lot of horrible things during the war. He was one of the ones that landed at Normandy on D-Day and from what we have now learned about that invasion, it was bloody and gruesome. I can’t image what that must have been like for a young man to witness. Dad never talked about the horrible things he saw while he served, rather he told us the funny stories of all the trouble him and his sidekick (Jerry) got into. This included things like stealing the Xmas turkeys and selling them on the black market or when he enlisted lying to say that he smoked so that when other soldiers who did smoke ran out of their ration of cigarettes he could sell his ration at an inflated price. Needless to say there was time spent in the brig and he never made it past the rank of private.

But Dad came home from the war wounded both physically and mentally. He fought for nearly 40 years to have his physical injuries recognized so that he could receive a disability pension. While Veteran Affairs agreed that the arthritis in his ankle was likely caused by a motorcycle accident when he was a medic they didn’t see that as a disability. Moreover, they claimed his serious back issues at first were caused by his weight and then when he lost weight and was still in pain they decided it was all in his head and he should seek psychiatric help. It wasn’t until an orthopedic specialist found big chunks missing from Dad’s spine that had filled with arthritis was his pain properly diagnosed. The cause of that damage was when Dad was a supply clerk and a large truck backed up without seeing him and pinned him to a tree thus crushing his spine. It was only after that diagnosis that he started receiving a disability pension and trust me it was not enough to support our family (though Veteran Affairs claimed that was his fault as he had had children later in life).

However, those who served in WWII never had the option of having their mental health issues recognized as a disability. My Dad, like so many other veterans, suffered from PTSD though of course no one knew what it was back then (though some suffering from PTSD were said to be shell shocked). Those demons of what he saw while he was fighting for our freedoms never left him and I can still to this day recall hearing him sometimes scream in the middle of the night. Our family suffered along with him as we got to deal with the repercussions of that PTSD but with the knowledge that we developed in the years after he passed we realized much of what he put us through was not really his fault. I just wished he had the opportunity to get support to deal with those lingering demons so that he could have been at peace.

And so today for the first time in 4 years we will head to our local Legion first to be at the Remembrance ceremony and then to raise a glass and toast my Dad. We will also toast everyone who has served for this beautiful county of ours and thank them all for the sacrifices that they made.

They shall grow not old,
as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them,
nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun
And in the morning
We shall remember them.

My trainer yelled at me today. It was Power Hour which is a class fully focused on strength training. Today was kind of fun because you had to work with a partner. We got to the point where I had to do snatches (bend over with a weight and use your momentum when you are standing up to snatch a weight above your head) and all of a sudden she yelled Gwenne stop! She then demanded that I go get a heavier weight which I thought was odd because I was using a 12.5 lb one. So, I got a 15 lb weight and turns out she was right, the previous weight was too light.

I try to set realistic goals of what I want to achieve. By realistic I mean I want it to be something I can strive for but not something that I am unlikely to accomplish. I do this so that I can continue to push myself fitness wise but also to help with my overall health and fitness.

I start with a daily goal. Right now it is to get in at least 7 hours of good sleep each night. Unfortunately despite the fact that I have not had alcohol in weeks and the fact that I use pillow mist, I haven’t successfully had a good night sleep since returning from Mexico (though I continue to try). I then have a weekly goal which is to do at least 5 fitness classes a week. This one I manage to achieve regularly but I am going to have to look for a work around next week when I head out of town. Finally is my monthly goal which I have set this month as whenever possible when I have finished all my workouts each day that I change out of my workout clothes into proper clothes and it can’t be sweat pants. I do this to encourage myself to keep trying on all my size 6/small clothing to prove to myself they all fit again.

To me setting these goals helps me keep on track and to be focused on the reason I have been working so hard. It also gives me the opportunity to congratulate myself when I have achieved a goal which I can assure you really helps lift your spirits. I’m not sure at this point what my next goals will be but I am sure they too will help me move forward on this journey.

So set yourself some goals and see how you do.

It was a fun walk this morning. When I had left for bootcamp it was pouring rain but by time I returned home it had definitely cleared up. Of course there was a reason for that, it was really windy. Still I went out for my first walk and headed down to the beach. Not my brightest idea since down there it was even windier. Seriously, walking along the pier I actually felt like I was stumbling because of the force of the wind. Fortunately by time I did my 2nd walk the wind had died down considerably so it was a much better walk.

My husband, sister and I have been doing an adjusted Sober October. Adjusted of course because we didn’t get back from Mexico until October 15th thus we started Sober October on the 16th. I am proud to say that in the last 23 days 22 of them have been without any alcohol (the one day was to celebrate my Mom). A week tomorrow and we will once again finish this great journey and to be honest it hasn’t been all that bad.

Now my sister and I usually do Sober October each year along with Dry February. Both we do as a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society in memory of Mom. I have to say when more than one person in the household agrees to give up booze for the month it is much easier than doing it on your own. We have also learned that there are now some awesome non-alcoholic beers that are usually pretty low sugar and calories but gives you the flavour of beer. Even those I don’t have every day, just occasionally.

But I have seen some improvements to my health with forgoing alcohol for a while. Firstly, my blood pressure is amazing. It is usually in the normal zone but now it is at the lower end. Even my husband’s blood pressure has been pretty good compared to normal (he has hypertension for which he takes medication). I have also found that I have had more energy to get through 5 hours of exercise most days. I’ve even decided once this is over that I am going to limit alcohol consumption to only 1 day a week until I hit my goal weight (or arrive in Mexico, whichever is sooner).

I am glad we all decided to do this together. I think it just gives your mind and body a bit of a break and I know it has helped me along my health and fitness journey.

My apologies for not posting on Thursday. I have been having massive computer issues resulting in a serious loss of data. I have been absolutely panicking over this and so it has taken away focus from everything else. The good news is I have made a small amount of progress in restoring some of the data and I at least have a plan moving forward.

The other day I was at my strength class doing a circuit routine. I had just finished doing some TRX rows and was settling in for bench presses when the instructor came up to me and asked me if I had seen the muscles on my back. She showed me a picture she had taken with her phone of me doing my rows and I was a bit surprised at the muscle definition that I had in the back of my shoulders and my shoulder blades. I hadn’t realized how far developed my back muscles had become.

Now I do notice my arm muscles but they are easy to see. My forearms are pretty muscular and and I joke about the guns in my biceps. I can now notice the definition in my triceps as well. My quads are like tree trunks and I can feel the strength in my hamstrings and calves. Moreover, my ab muscles are once again strong and I can really feel them when I flex. All in all I think I am looking pretty fit.

After the instructor pointed out my back muscles I have been a little more cognizant of how I am looking. When I am working out I tend to watch myself in the mirror but it is usually from a distance and I tend to be more focused on form. Today at bootcamp I was doing some work close to the mirrors and thought holy cow, look at the actual definition in your arms. Seriously, it is not just some muscle mass there, rather it is well defined muscles that show the strength I have gained over the last several months. Really, I hadn’t noticed this before and trust me it is not like those muscles got that way recently, they have been building for a while now.

Because I tend to be so focused on working out I guess I didn’t take the opportunity to notice how much my body has actually changed. And I must say, it has been changes for the better.

I have to admit, I love Halloween. Yes I get it is an extremely commercialized day but it is so much fun. Today when I was out for my first walk, I was walking by a local high school and I was surprised at how many of the older kids I saw wearing costumes. Of course we live near an elementary school and lots of the younger ones were in amazing costumes. How can you have a bad day when the dressed up adorable kids are all around you.

Now I love handing out candy on Halloween. For a number of years while I was working it was always hit or miss as to whether I would be home or not to get to have this fun. Since I retired (sort of) I am always around to do this task. And, because we get 100+ kids it means numerous trips up and down the stairs which always helps with the calorie burn. I do admit it was much easier when we lived in a rancher with no steps and a good Halloween was 12 kids coming by.

What I really love is seeing the younger kids in their costumes who are just in awe that they get candy. While I try to be equitable in the amount of candy I give each kid I acknowledge that if you look under 5 and are shy, I’m probably giving you a bit extra. Sometimes I let the young ones reach into the bucket of candy themselves and if I don’t think they have taken enough I make sure to load them up with more candy.

While I know Halloween is for kids, it is still so much fun for me. I can’t wait for that doorbell to start ringing and seeing how many ‘Barbies’ there are this year. So Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you all enjoy the evening as much as I know I will.

I got up this morning planning to do an 1 1/2 hour walk before my bootcamp class (yes even on Saturdays I am up early). I checked the temperature and it was -2. Ok, there was absolutely no hope that I was heading outside in the dark with it being that cold. So, yes, I hit the dreaded treadmill. Fortunately after bootcamp while it was still cold it was at least sunny out so I got in a 2nd 1 1/2 hour walk. That walk was far better than the first one.

Because it had turned so cold in the mornings this week I realized I needed to start wearing workout pants instead of shorts. Now I have lots of workout pants and some of them are pretty funky. The problem is they are all in size small and trust me they look tiny. However, I didn’t really have a choice but to try a pair on. Much to my surprise, they fit. I don’t mean they kinda fit, I mean they look good on me. I really didn’t realize I was back to this size.

After the success with the workout pants I decided I needed to try on some other clothes that I haven’t worn in a while. I had already found that some of my size 6 jeans fit again but really they were the relaxed fit ones and I was sure I am a ways off before the skinny jeans will fit. I tried on a couple jackets this week, first my jean jacket (fit perfectly) and then an awesome faux leather snug fitting jacket (I forgot how much I like that jacket but again looked great on me). I then decided to try one of my favourite blouses that is meant to be tight fitting. I was stunned that it fit so well. Then it was a pretty dress that I bought on a cruise 2 years ago that I have only worn once. I really want to wear it for the Remembrance Day celebrations but again worried my body wasn’t quite ready for it. Nope, it fits great and I look forward to proudly wearing it in 2 weeks.

Trying on clothes that I had grown out of was a big confidence booster for me. I have said all along that this journey is as much about mental fitness as it is about physical fitness. I have always looked at clothes that are in my size and thought it was impossible they would fit me and I have been proven wrong time and time again. Now I think I will start celebrating the fact that I have some great clothes to wear over the next while.

Oh, and yesterday I tried on the skinny jeans. They are a little tight in the waist but about 3 more pounds and they will be awesome on me. Yep, it’s all starting to fit again.

I have to say I am looking forward to dressing for winter. Last year I spent most of the winter months simply wearing sweat pants because that was all I had that fit comfortably. Now I am back into wearing most of my jeans (need a couple more pounds to be in the skinny jeans). You need to understand I have many pairs of jeans in different colours and styles but the one thing they have in common is they are all size 6. Well, apparently I am back to being a size 6 because most of my jeans fit. This means I can dress a little better this year.

I had a really terrible sleep last night. I was quite cold when I went to bed and very unlike me I huddled for hours under the duvet. When I checked my sleep score this morning it was pretty bad and I was surprised that hardly any of my sleep time had my heart rate below my resting heart rate which is also unusual. I woke up this morning with a massive headache and I was exhausted.

Now I don’t normally get headaches. Seriously, it happens maybe once every 2 or 3 years. Of course when I do get them they are quite debilitating and this morning’s was no different. I popped a couple extra strength ibuprofen but after 45 minutes there was no change. It was at that point that I went online and canceled my Power Hour class and crawled back into bed for a few hours.

My Fitbit has been screaming at me lately that I need some recovery time and I guess that is what I needed this morning. By time I got up again the headache was reduced to a dull throb which was tolerable. Not wanting to lose momentum with my training I decided maybe a brief walk would be a good idea. While it was chilly out the sun was shining and after about 1/2 hour I realized the headache was completely gone and so I completed a 90 minute walk. By time I got home I felt so much better.

But it was ok that I recognized that I needed a bit of extra time for my body to recover today. I have been hitting the workouts pretty hard since I got back from Mexico and it was time to step back a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I will still probably burn 1,000+ calories doing exercise today it will just be in a gentler fashion than starting my day with an intense workout.

Bottom line is once again I was listening to my body and doing what was best to let me recover a bit so that I can keep going.